“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Ever so sweetly themed, the Rabbithole Café pays homage to Lewis Caroll’s Alice in Wonderland. Usually humming with hungry Herne Bayites, the restaurant specialises in breakfast, brunches, lunches and café style snacks.
Of a Saturday morning, around 10am, the cafe was pretty busy. After the whole ‘do-we-wait-or-do-we-just-go-sit-down’ mill around, we plonked ourselves at a table outside.
From there, time ticked on by – loosely chronicled as follows:
10.00: Aforementioned table plonking.
10.10: Walk inside, source menus, return.
10.20: Waitress finally appears, takes drink orders. Explains the gluten free options. The menu caters well to the GF crowd, with 3-4 appetising picks.
10.25: She returns to take our five meal orders. At her recommendation, I opted for the green chilli eggs, with a side of bacon.
10.30: Drinks arrive. Chai latte is delicious.
10.45: First two breakfasts come out; including an egg white omelette, which is another GF treat – and looks pretty darn tasty too.
10:47: No sign of remaining three meals. The first two friends tuck in to avoid cold-egg terrors.
10.55: Still no sign of other three meals. First two meals are finished. Shit’s getting awkward. Plates are all cute and quirky though. We admire them a bit. 
10.59: Ventured inside to see what happening with remaining meals.
11.10: Two more meals come out. Not mine though. Not. Mine. Hanger is setting in. The others start chowing down, manners a luxury at this stage. I watch. Covet. Envy. It’s the brunch version of Lord of the Flies.
11.12: Waitress notes that I’m still sitting meal-less. Possibly due to my I-haven’t-eaten-in-like-12-hours death stare. Possibly not.
11.20am: Other meals are finished.
11.26am: Waitress came back. They’ve forgotten my order. They. Have. Forgotten. Me.
11.28am: Oh my god. Where is my food?
11.29am: Friends are talking. This is no time for talking. I am empty of talk. Empty. Empty like my stomach.
11.43am: Hurrah, meal arrives. But no bacon. No. Bacon. WHERE IS MY BACON.
11.44am: Screw it, eat anyway.
11.45: Chew, chew, chew. Friends watch politely, waiting for me to finish meal. They have days to seize, carpes to diem. But manners.
11.46: Eggs are actually delicious – scrambled perfectly, with green chillis to add a spicy punch. GF bread is grainy and filling. Thank goodness. 
11.49: Manager comes out to apologise. But it’s the sorry-if-you-were-inconvenienced-but-we’re-really-busy kind of apology. I nod mumblingly, mouth full of scrambled eggs. Nod, nod, nod. Munch, munch, munch.
11.51: And, time!
11.53: We hop up to pay. While we wait, several meals come out of the kitchen then turn around and go back into the kitchen. It’s a muddle of a misordering madhouse.
11.56: Point out that my breakfast was tardy. Waitress points out that they’re really busy. I point out it’s Saturday morning, prime brunch time. She apologises. She gives me my chai for free.
12.00: We escape.
In sum, yes they have good gluten free options. Prices are reasonable. Decor is super sweet. But, there’s a tad too much madness of the hatter’ variety to satisfy an early morning hunger.
My advice? Give it a shot. But not when you’re in any kind of hurry. Maybe have some conversation starters prepared (my favourite: if you were a Disney princess, which would you be? Guys especially love this one). And perhaps have a snack beforehand?
- Quality: 7/10
- Value: 5/10
- GF selection: 7/10
- Service: 1/10
- X-Factor: 5/10
The Rabbithole Cafe | 203 Jervois Road, Herne Bay | (09) 3600755 | Facebook Page
